![\"newspaper\"](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/newspaper.jpg\")
(On most days Vivek Kaul makes a living writing on economics and finance. What follows is a figment of his imagination).<\/p>\n(On most days Vivek Kaul makes a living writing on economics and finance. What follows is a figment of his imagination).<\/p>\n
Journalist Sonia Dahilya had just got a call from her boss of many years. And she had been fired.<\/p>\n
Just like that, her job of 20 years with The Spiritual Express<\/em>, a weekend supplement of a large selling daily newspaper, had gone in a few seconds.<\/p>\n Not knowing what to do she decided to go visit her guru, Sri Sri Sri Baba Just Dev. Being a journalist who had helped build Baba\u2019s profile over the years, she was able to cut through the queue and go straight to the beginning of the line.<\/p>\n A little birdie told us this is how their conversation went.<\/p>\n \u201cBaba\u2026,\u201d she wailed taking off her mask, as soon as she saw him.<\/p>\n \u201cI know bachcha<\/em>,\u201d he replied, with Sonia\u2019s boss, who was also a bhakt, having called and given him an advance warning.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened Baba? Why did I lose my job?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know I stopped the Sant Kanti<\/em> toothpaste ads to The Spiritual Express<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut why Baba? You didn\u2019t like the last profile I did of you riding on your new motorbike? We even got a drone shot of you riding the bike through the ghats<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, no\u2026 That was a lovely profile. Even Basu Judeo Baba called and congratulated me. He even asked, how did I manage to get such plugs done. Pity, he is still building his Fast Moving Consumer Good Business and can\u2019t advertise much. Also, his TV channel doesn\u2019t have the same kind of reach as mine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why Baba?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, sales of Sant Kanti<\/em> toothpaste have totally collapsed. No cashflow you see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe people are just staying at home during the lockdown and not brushing their teeth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThese men I tell you,\u201d Sonia thought, remembering how her partner of many years had been behaving over the last few weeks.<\/p>\n \u201cBut Baba Soulgate continues to advertise,\u201d Sonia said. \u201cAnd I have to say that toothpaste looks, smells and tastes, so much better.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cArre <\/em>they are foreign MNCs. They have deep pockets,\u201d Baba replied, ignoring the comment on the quality of his product.<\/p>\n \u201cBut Baba you also don\u2019t have to pay taxes on your earnings\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEhhh\u2026 Let\u2019s not go there. I have other expenses.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Baba, why me?\u201d she asked. \u201cThey could have also fired that Aishwariya na\u2026<\/em> Just sits there all day and keeps promoting your competition.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy competition?\u201d Baba Just Dev asked reacting as if this was news to him.<\/p>\n \u201cArre <\/em>that Basu Judeo Baba.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, that NKOTB\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNKOTB?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNew Kid on the Block. For a journalist, you tend to terribly outdated on the latest lingo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry Baba, I am just stressed. Need to have a grilled Nutella banana sandwich along with an organic strawberry shake made in almond milk, as soon as I get back home and get some sugar into my system.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHere\u2019s the thing. I have coined a new slogan for my bhakts.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that Baba?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJo karega, zaroori nahi wohi bharega<\/em> (He who does, will not necessarily be the one who faces the consequences),\u201d <\/em>in line with the capitalism of our times.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s such a philosophical thing to say Baba. Will be a huge hit with everyone who loses their jobs in the aftermath of covid-19 and is looking to blame someone else for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know one does need to constantly keep realigning the value proposition on offer in line with the zeitgeist of the times.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, Baba.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhich is why I thought let me start with you,\u201d Baba said. \u201cYou are one of my original bhakts after all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Baba.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI am there for you bachcha<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBaba, what about my job?\u201d Sonia asked.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, I have arranged one for you already.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI knew, I could count on you Baba.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have spoken to the IT cell. They need an English language editor and could do with some better grammar. They are willing to match your current CTC, with weekends off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, Baba. I am so thrilled. You know, I had gone to the Amalfi Coast in Italy last year and the EMI for that holiday loan is still on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, no, I don\u2019t want recovery agents landing up at your door. They can be a nasty bunch. You would know, I had some experience in that line, before I found nirvana<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnything I can do for your Baba?\u201d, Sonia asked, as a matter of courtesy, before taking her leave.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes. I want you to continue ghost writing my columns,\u201d he said. \u201cYou just know how to emotionally connect with my bhakts and loosen up their purse strings, like no one else does.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, Baba.\u201d<\/p>\n ******<\/p>\n Sonia Dahilya took on a job of an editor with the IT cell.<\/p>\n A few days later she was fired with no reason being offered for it. Baba later told her off the record that her good grammar was making their WhatsApp forwards of the IT cell less believable and there had been a huge drop in sharing rates.<\/p>\n ******<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (On most days Vivek Kaul makes a living writing on economics and finance. What follows is a figment of his imagination). Journalist Sonia Dahilya had just got a call from her boss of many years. And she had been fired. Just like that, her job of 20 years with The Spiritual Express, a weekend supplement … <\/p>\n Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"","qubely_interactions":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"qubely_featured_image_url":null,"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Vivek Kaul","author_link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/author\/vivekkaul\/"},"qubely_comment":0,"qubely_category":"Uncategorized<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"(On most days Vivek Kaul makes a living writing on economics and finance. What follows is a figment of his imagination). Journalist Sonia Dahilya had just got a call from her boss of many years. And she had been fired. Just like that, her job of 20 years with The Spiritual Express, a weekend supplement…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6020"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}