{"id":3403,"date":"2015-04-01T15:21:43","date_gmt":"2015-04-01T09:51:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/teekhapan.wordpress.com\/?p=3403"},"modified":"2015-04-01T15:21:43","modified_gmt":"2015-04-01T09:51:43","slug":"what-happened-when-pappu-met-feku-on-april-fools-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/2015\/04\/01\/what-happened-when-pappu-met-feku-on-april-fools-day\/","title":{"rendered":"What happened when Pappu met Feku on April Fools’ Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"April-Fool-Day-Pranks\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cLook who we have here,\u201d said\u00a0Feku<\/i>, when he ran into\u00a0Pappu<\/i>\u00a0at the New Delhi Airport, early morning today.
\n\u201cKahan hai re tu?\u201d\u00a0<\/i>he asked.
\n\u201cI was here only,\u201d replied\u00a0Pappu<\/i>.
\n\u201cWhere?\u201d
\n\u201cIn Surajkund.\u201d
\n\u201cOh and everyone was speculating you are somewhere in Europe with your girl friend,\u201d said a surprised\u00a0Feku.<\/i>
\n\u201cNah, I was with\u00a0Jeejaji\u00a0<\/i>in Haryana. He knows the state very well\u00a0na.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>But why did you disappear?\u201d asked a slightly concerned\u00a0Feku.
\n<\/i>\u201cOh, this was an idea one of the brand managers who has joined us came up with,\u201d replied\u00a0Pappu. <\/i>\u201cBrand managers?\u201d asked\u00a0Feku.<\/i>\u00a0\u201cAnd I thought I had already recruited all of them.\u201d
\n\u201cNah.\u00a0<\/i>So, you see no one was talking about me.\u201d
\n\u201cSo?\u201d
\n\u201cSo, I was told that I if I disappeared everyone would be talking about me.\u201d
\n\u201cAh. Interesting.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd newspapers would write about me on their front pages. Websites would write analytical pieces on my disappearance.\u201d
\n\u201cYou devil! There is nothing like negative publicity. What an idea. I will also try it in the years to come, when people stop believing in\u00a0acche din aane waale hain.<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201cWith our party no longer in government we can’t put out those full page advertisements that we used to do, for all the publicity that we needed,\u201d said a rather sad\u00a0Pappu.<\/i>\u00a0\u201cEk wo din bhi the!\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>Yes, yes.\u00a0Ab to hamari baari hai!\u201d\u00a0<\/i>
\n\u201cBut don’t tell anyone yet, that I am back.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy?\u201d asked a concerned\u00a0Feku.
\n<\/i>\u201cI want to officially come back on Easter.\u201d
\n\u201cPop out of the Egg, you mean?\u201d asked\u00a0Feku<\/i>\u00a0and burst out into laughter.
\n\u201cHe he<\/i>. But I must tell you I am really inspired by you,\u201d said\u00a0Pappu\u00a0<\/i>immediately alerting\u00a0Feku.
\n\u201c<\/i>That’s nice. Now what have I done?\u201d
\n\u201cArre\u00a0<\/i>your party has become the biggest political party in the world.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, that.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat an idea. Just make a missed call and become a member.\u201d
\n\u201cYou see, all the brand managers I have hired, just keep coming up with these great ideas,\u201d explained\u00a0Feku.
\n\u201c<\/i>But how does someone, who has become a member by making a missed call, resign if he wants to? Make a missed call again?\u201d asked\u00a0Pappu\u00a0<\/i>trying to give\u00a0chabhi\u00a0<\/i>to\u00a0Feku<\/i>.
\n\u201cPappu ji,\u00a0<\/i>now tell me, the nation wants to know when are you getting married?\u201d asked\u00a0Feku,\u00a0<\/i>trying to change the topic.
\n\u201cAh. You know Veronica my Spanish girl friend left me.\u201d
\n\u201cAwww. I am sorry to hear that . These women can drive you real crazy. But the family line also has to continue. It’s such a tricky call.\u201d
\n\u201cYou must be talking from your ‘brief’ experience. My Spanish girl friend loved calling me Raul. I can still remember the way she used to twirl her tongue while calling out my name. \u201cRaaaauuuullll,\u201d still gives me goosebumps,\u201d recalled a rather emotional\u00a0Pappu.
\n<\/i>\u201cNever mind\u00a0Pappu.\u00a0<\/i>It’s time to move on. As the Biggest B once said: \u201cJo beet gayi so baat gayi, maana woh behad pyara tha,\u201d\u201d<\/i>\u00a0said\u00a0Feku<\/i>, getting all poetic.
\n\u201cBut I still miss her you know. \u201cLike the roses need the rain. Like the poets need the pain. Baby I want you,<\/i>\u201d\u201d said\u00a0Pappu<\/i>, bursting out into a\u00a0Bon Jovi<\/i>\u00a0song.
\n\u201cLagta hai dard bahut gehra hai,<\/i>\u201d said\u00a0Feku.
\n<\/i>\u201cSorry?\u201d
\n\u201cThe Spanish girl might want you to become a matador in a bull fight. Next time\u00a0you should date a nice homely Gujarati girl. Worse come worse she will make you fly kites on\u00a0Makar Sankranti\u00a0<\/i>and make you eat\u00a0dhoklo, theplo, khakro\u00a0<\/i>and\u00a0undiyo,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>saidFeku<\/i>, trying to feign some sympathy.\u00a0
\n\u201c<\/i>And I can shout\u00a0Kai Po Che,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>said\u00a0Pappu,\u00a0<\/i>all excited. \u201cOnce I cut your kite.\u00a0Wo subah kabhi to aayegi!<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>If you want I could even look for a good Gujarati girl for you,\u201d offered\u00a0Feku,<\/i>ignoring\u00a0Pappu’s\u00a0<\/i>remark.\u00a0
\n\u201c<\/i>Could you?\u201d asked\u00a0Pappu.
\n\u201c<\/i>Yes, why not!\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>But there is a slight problem with that?\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>What? Madam won’t like it?\u201d asked\u00a0Feku<\/i>. \u201cDon’t worry I will talk to her.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>No. No.\u00a0Ma\u00a0<\/i>is fine as long as I marry a girl.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>Then?\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>Well, I can’t call my girlfriend\u00a0ben\u00a0<\/i>no. Also, she might turn out to be a Gujarat model. Not good for my party you see.\u201d
\n\u201cYe achi baat nahi hai,<\/i>\u201d screamed\u00a0Feku\u00a0<\/i>and walked out of the room.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(Vivek Kaul is the author of the\u00a0Easy Money\u00a0<\/i>trilogy. He tweets @kaul_vivek) \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The spoof originally appeared on Firstpost <\/a>on April 1, 2015<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cLook who we have here,\u201d said\u00a0Feku, when he ran into\u00a0Pappu\u00a0at the New Delhi Airport, early morning today. \u201cKahan hai re tu?\u201d\u00a0he asked. \u201cI was here only,\u201d replied\u00a0Pappu. \u201cWhere?\u201d \u201cIn Surajkund.\u201d \u201cOh and everyone was speculating you are somewhere in Europe with your girl friend,\u201d said a surprised\u00a0Feku. \u201cNah, I was with\u00a0Jeejaji\u00a0in Haryana. He knows the … <\/p>\n

Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"","qubely_interactions":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,68],"tags":[307,1257,2673],"qubely_featured_image_url":null,"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Vivek Kaul","author_link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/author\/vivekkaul\/"},"qubely_comment":0,"qubely_category":"Firstpost<\/a> Satire<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"\u201cLook who we have here,\u201d said\u00a0Feku, when he ran into\u00a0Pappu\u00a0at the New Delhi Airport, early morning today. \u201cKahan hai re tu?\u201d\u00a0he asked. \u201cI was here only,\u201d replied\u00a0Pappu. \u201cWhere?\u201d \u201cIn Surajkund.\u201d \u201cOh and everyone was speculating you are somewhere in Europe with your girl friend,\u201d said a surprised\u00a0Feku. \u201cNah, I was with\u00a0Jeejaji\u00a0in Haryana. He knows the…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3403"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3403\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}