{"id":2530,"date":"2014-01-18T12:01:33","date_gmt":"2014-01-18T06:31:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teekhapan.wordpress.com\/?p=2530"},"modified":"2014-01-18T12:01:33","modified_gmt":"2014-01-18T06:31:33","slug":"what-rahul-baba-learnt-from-dedh-ishqiya-before-his-big-speech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/2014\/01\/18\/what-rahul-baba-learnt-from-dedh-ishqiya-before-his-big-speech\/","title":{"rendered":"What Rahul baba learnt from Dedh Ishqiya before his big speech"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/b>\"rahul<\/a>Vivek Kaul\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\nRahul\u00a0baba\u00a0<\/i>was getting ready to make the big speech.
\nAlong with his mother and a speech writer, an executive from the recently hired advertising agency to spruce up his image, was also present in the war room.
\n\u201cI am so proud of you\u00a0beta<\/i>,\u201d said the mother. \u201cYou are finally behaving like a grown up. Taking the bull by its horns.\u201d
\n\u201cBull?\u201d asked Rahul. \u201cI thought we called him the\u00a0feku.<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201cFeku<\/i>\u00a0is the old term for him sir,\u201d said the executive from the advertising agency. \u201cThese days we are calling him the\u00a0chaiwallah\u00a0<\/i>in all our internal communication.\u201d
\n\u201cYeah, how does an upstart like him, a\u00a0chaiwallah<\/i>‘s son, dare to challenge you Rahul baba<\/i>,\u201d said the speech writer, who was an old family hand. \u201cIndia’s next leader has to be you. In fact, we should ask\u00a0feku<\/i>\u00a0to run a tea stall at our conclave.\u201d
\n\u201cOkay, okay, that is enough,\u201d replied a slightly irritated Rahul. \u201cHave you got the speech ready?\u201d
\n\u201cYes sir,\u201d said the speech writer, handing over a few sheets to Rahul.
\nRahul went through the pages very quickly and had a slightly miffed look on his face.
\n\u201cArre\u00a0<\/i>this is the same speech I made last month!\u201d exclaimed Rahul.
\n\u201cNo sir. This is a totally new speech. I just wrote this just today morning,\u201d replied the speech writer. \u201cI stopped copy pasting after what happened to Shah Rukh Khan.\u201d
\n\u201cBut then why does it read the same?\u201d
\n\u201cWhat to do,\u201d said the speech writer. \u201cAll speeches written for Congress leaders sound the same since the 1960s. It’s all about\u00a0roti, kapda\u00a0<\/i>aur\u00a0makan<\/i>. How many different speeches can one write on the same theme?\u201d
\n\u201cOh that’s fine,\u201d interjected the advertising executive. \u201cYou can fool some of the people all the time. Also, these kind of speeches go well with the brand positioning of the Congress. But we need to add some points about the economic growth to it as well.\u201d
\n\u201cEconomic growth?\u201d asked the speech writer. \u201c
\n\u201cYes. Now its about\u00a0roti, kapda, makan aur\u00a0<\/i>economic growth.\u201d
\n\u201cArre<\/i>\u00a0par what happened to\u00a0garibi hatao\u00a0<\/i>then?\u201d asked the confused speech writer.
\n\u201cOh, we have removed\u00a0garibi\u00a0<\/i>already through our flagship schemes like food security and NREGA,\u201d said Rahul.
\n\u201cWhen did that happen?\u201d wondered the speech writer. \u201cWhat will I do now?\u201d
\n\u201cShutup,\u201d said Rahul. \u201cSo\u00a0Ma\u00a0<\/i>when do I get to make this speech?\u201d
\n\u201cOh, right at the end of the conclave.\u201d
\n\u201cAt the end?\u201d asked Rahul. \u201cWhy\u00a0Ma?<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201cYou are the show stopper\u00a0beta<\/i>.\u201d
\n\u201cI don’t like this. It sounds like the Hindi films of the sixties and the seventies, wherein the actor Pran’s name used to come right at the end of the casting. It always used to be\u00a0And Pran.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/i>So?\u201d asked the perplexed mother.
\n\u201cI am not a villain\u00a0Ma.<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201cNo no\u00a0beta.\u00a0<\/i>You are the show stopper like in the fashion shows. The biggest star always comes at the end. You are the hero. With your speech being scheduled right at the end the workers will wait to listen to you and that way we will have a stadium full of people. Other leaders can also have an audience while they speak.\u201d
\n\u201cNo\u00a0Ma.\u00a0<\/i>Sheila aunty got me to speak right at the end and people started to leave as soon as I started to speak.\u201d
\n\u201cOh that was the general public Sir,\u201d the advertising executive interrupted. \u201cThese are members of your party. Rest assured they won’t leave. And I will ensure that the doors are locked from the outside till your speech is over.\u201d
\n\u201cHaan\u00a0<\/i>that sounds like a plan,\u201d said Rahul. \u201cGood we hired you guys.\u201d
\n\u201cAlways at your service sir,\u201d replied the advertising executive.
\n\u201cYou know I was thinking of using some Urdu poetry that I have been reading lately,<\/i>\u201d said Rahul.\u00a0\u201cAh, like\u00a0mauni baba<\/i>,\u201d said the speech writer.
\n\u201cSo how is this?\u201d
\n\u201cWah Wah,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>said the advertising executive.
\n\u201cArre\u00a0<\/i>first let me complete the couplet,\u201d said Rahul.
\n\u201cOh, but what is that we have to say when someone starts reciting a couplet?\u201d asked the advertising executive, who happened to be a Bengali.
\n\u201cIrshad, irshad,\u00a0<\/i>Rahul baba,\u201d the speech writer chipped in.
\n\u201cKe arz kiya hai<\/i>,\u201d started Rahul.
\n\u201cBolo beta,<\/i>\u201d said the mother.
\n\u201cGalat bazar ki janib chale aaye hain hum shayad,
\nchalo Sansad main chalte hain wahan bhi sale lagti hai.
\nKoi bhi androoni gandagi bahar nahi hoti,
\nhumme to is hukumat ki bhi kidney fail lagti hai.\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n(janib<\/i>\u00a0= towards.\u00a0Sansad\u00a0<\/i>= Parliament.\u00a0androoni\u00a0<\/i>= inside.\u00a0Gandagi =\u00a0<\/i>dirt. hukumat<\/i>\u00a0= rule)<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n\u201cWah wah beta,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>said the excited mother. \u201cI didn’t know there was a poet inside you.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, I didn’t write it\u00a0Ma.\u00a0<\/i>This is by a poet called Munnawar Rana,\u201d replied Rahul.
\n\u201cSir, there two problems with this couplet,\u201d said the advertising executive.
\n\u201cTwo?\u201d asked Rahul.
\n\u201cActually three. As a politician when you quote an Urdu couplet it has to be from\u00a0Ghalib\u00a0<\/i>because he is the only Urdu poet we Indians have heard of.<\/i>\u201d
\n\u201cOh.\u201d
\n\u201cYou are going against your own government with this couplet.\u201d
\n\u201cThat I do all the time.\u00a0Mauni baba\u00a0<\/i>does not mind. And that’s my style\u201d
\n\u201cYes. But that is not correct. The party and the government should be seen to be saying the same things,\u201d explained the advertising executive. \u201cThis is a fundamental rule of communication.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd what is the third thing?\u201d
\n\u201cOh,\u00a0Dedh Ishqiya,<\/i>\u00a0a fantastic film which was high on Urdu, did not do as well as it was expected to.\u201d
\n\u201cSo?\u201d asked Rahul.
\n\u201cI think you should stick to English and Hindi.\u201d
\n\u201cHmmm,\u201d said Rahul. \u201cI so wanted to speak some Urdu. People sound so intelligent when they speak in Urdu.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat else have you thought of?\u201d asked the speech writer.
\n\u201cYou know I have been reading this management book\u00a0Fen Zu and the Art of War.\u00a0<\/i>And inspired by that I have written something.\u201d
\n\u201cI am so proud of you\u00a0beta<\/i>,\u201d said the beaming mother.
\n\u201cWe will go into this battle as warriors with our heads held high. We will not look back. We will go into this battle knowing who we are and what we stand for. We will fight with all that we have within us. We will not rest. We will not lose courage. And we will not stop till the battle is won,\u201d said Rahul.
\n\u201cNow that sounds like a speech,\u201d said the advertising executive. \u201cAbsolutely kick-ass. You are The Last Action Hero.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd I will have to look for a job,\u201d said the speech writer.
\n\u201cNow only if you had got me a\u00a0bahu <\/i>(daughter-in-law),\u201d said the mother.
\nAnd Rahul wondered\u00a0\u201cAgar Joker chala gaya to Batman kya karega?\u00a0<\/i>(If the Joker goes away what will Batman do?)\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n(Vivek Kaul is a writer. He tweets @kaul_vivek)
\nThe article originally appeared in January 18<\/a>, 2014
\nDisclosure: The last line of the piece, \u201cAgar Joker chala gaya to Batman kya karega!,\u201d\u00a0<\/i>has been borrowed from a similar line from the recently released\u00a0Dedh Ishqiya\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vivek Kaul\u00a0 Rahul\u00a0baba\u00a0was getting ready to make the big speech. Along with his mother and a speech writer, an executive from the recently hired advertising agency to spruce up his image, was also present in the war room. \u201cI am so proud of you\u00a0beta,\u201d said the mother. \u201cYou are finally behaving like a grown up. … <\/p>\n

Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"","qubely_interactions":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,59,68],"tags":[924,2913,2915],"qubely_featured_image_url":null,"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Vivek Kaul","author_link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/author\/vivekkaul\/"},"qubely_comment":0,"qubely_category":"Analysis<\/a> Politics<\/a> Satire<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"Vivek Kaul\u00a0 Rahul\u00a0baba\u00a0was getting ready to make the big speech. Along with his mother and a speech writer, an executive from the recently hired advertising agency to spruce up his image, was also present in the war room. \u201cI am so proud of you\u00a0beta,\u201d said the mother. \u201cYou are finally behaving like a grown up.…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2530\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}