{"id":1622,"date":"2013-03-05T15:58:15","date_gmt":"2013-03-05T10:28:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teekhapan.wordpress.com\/?p=1622"},"modified":"2013-03-05T15:58:15","modified_gmt":"2013-03-05T10:28:15","slug":"of-a-mauser-netaji-and-baja-bhaiya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/2013\/03\/05\/of-a-mauser-netaji-and-baja-bhaiya\/","title":{"rendered":"Of a Mauser, Netaji and Baja Bhaiya"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/b><\/span>\"mauser\"<\/a>Vivek Kaul<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span>
\nSo Baja Bhaiya was at it again.
\n\u201cI told you not to do this again,\u201d Netaji shouted at him.
\n\u201cBut Netaji I had just got this new Chinese Mauser smuggled from Nepal,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cSo?\u201d Netaji shot back.
\n\u201cI had to try it on someone,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya. \u201cTo see if it worked properly. There is a lot of demand in the state.\u201d
\n\u201cExcellent explanation,\u201d said a rather irritated, Netaji.
\n\u201cHmmm!\u201d
\n\u201cBut why did you have to shoot at such a senior police officer?\u201d asked Netaji. \u201cYou could have tried your aim at so many Behanji statues the state has.\u201d
\n\u201cI needed a moving target\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>na.\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>Plus statues of Behanji are so big that anyone can hit them. There would have been no big deal doing that.\u201d
\n\u201cOh. You needed a moving target,\u201d Netaji remarked sarcastically. \u201cI see.\u201d
\n\u201cActually to tell you the truth my target was the constable standing next to the senior police officer, but he moved.\u201d
\n\u201cSo that’s what you really mean by a moving target.\u201d
\n\u201cYes Netaji. And the bullet instead of hitting the constable hit the senior police officer,\u201d explained Baja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cWhatever. Now everybody including Behanji is after me. What do I about that?\u201d asked Netaji.
\n\u201cNothing Netaji,\u201d said Baja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cNothing?\u201d
\n\u201cNo what I meant was that you will have to ask me to resign.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd?\u201d
\n\u201cI will resign,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya, matter of factly.
\n\u201cBut why can’t you do that on your own?\u201d asked Netaji.
\n\u201cNetaji, you seem to be losing your touch, since the time you made Chote Netaji, the chief minister.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy?\u201d
\n\u201cIt’s simple. You ask me to resign. And I will resign. This will create an impression among the public that you have done something about the issue.\u201d
\n\u201cOh yes! Oh yes,\u201d said an excited Netaji. \u201cGuess I have been in the background for too long. I am losing out on the tricks of the trade.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201cAnd once I have resigned. I will ask for a CBI investigation into the matter.\u201d
\n\u201cCBI enquiry?\u201d asked Netaji, going back to his perplexed look.
\n\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Arre sir.\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>The best way to delay any investigation in this country is to hand it over to the CBI.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Ah. Ye hui na band baaje waali baat.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201d
\n\u201cBy the time CBI finishes its enquiry the 2014 Lok Sabha elections would be upon us.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd?\u201d
\n\u201cAnd if all goes well you will be king maker by then. If Madam of the Con-Regress party wants to install her son Raul at the top, how will she do that without your support?\u201d
\n\u201cOf course. Of course. Even if we get 30-35 seats she will need us.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd anyway she is very worried these days my sources in Delhi tell me.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy?\u201d asked Netaji. \u201cDoesn’t look like Behanji will pull the plug on her.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Na na.\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>Arre Raul is in his forties now and refuses to get married,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cSo?\u201d
\n\u201cHow will the show go on Netaji. Like you have given into the demands of your son, she also wants to give in to the demand of her son. But what about the grandson?\u201d
\n\u201cMy grandson?\u201d asked Netaji. \u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Abhi uski umar hi kya hai.\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>He will takeover when he is ready for it.\u201d
\n\u201cExactly. So Madam also needs a grandson\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>na,\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>to takeover when he is ready for it<\/span><\/span><\/span>.\u201d
\n<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201cYes.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd for that to happen Raul has to get married.\u201d
\n\u201cYes,\u201d replied Netaji. \u201cBut what about Priya and Bob, they also have two sons\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>na.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201d
\n\u201cOh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about them.\u201d
\n\u201cSo they can also takeover.\u201d\u00a0\u201cYes, yes, they surely can,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cGood I have no such worries. Two sons and both of them married. My show will definitely go on!\u201d
\n\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Koi shak<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>,\u201d said Raja Bhaiya.
\n\u201cSo I guess this issue is solved then,\u201d said Netaji.
\n\u201cYes, Netaji.\u201d
\n\u201cSo where is that Chinese Mauser of yours?\u201d
\n\u201cMauser? What will you do with that Netaji?\u201d
\n\u201cDon’t worry. No moving targets for me.\u201d
\n\u201cThen?\u201d
\n\u201cI’ll just do some target practice on the big Behanji statue that I can see outside the window,\u201d replied Netaji, with a wicked smile on his face.<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n(Vivek Kaul is a writer. He tweets at @kaul_vivek)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vivek Kaul So Baja Bhaiya was at it again. \u201cI told you not to do this again,\u201d Netaji shouted at him. \u201cBut Netaji I had just got this new Chinese Mauser smuggled from Nepal,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya. \u201cSo?\u201d Netaji shot back. \u201cI had to try it on someone,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya. \u201cTo see if it … <\/p>\n

Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"","qubely_interactions":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"qubely_featured_image_url":null,"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Vivek Kaul","author_link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/author\/vivekkaul\/"},"qubely_comment":0,"qubely_category":"Uncategorized<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"Vivek Kaul So Baja Bhaiya was at it again. \u201cI told you not to do this again,\u201d Netaji shouted at him. \u201cBut Netaji I had just got this new Chinese Mauser smuggled from Nepal,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya. \u201cSo?\u201d Netaji shot back. \u201cI had to try it on someone,\u201d replied Baja Bhaiya. \u201cTo see if it…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1622"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}