{"id":1566,"date":"2013-02-26T10:11:28","date_gmt":"2013-02-26T04:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teekhapan.wordpress.com\/?p=1566"},"modified":"2013-02-26T10:11:28","modified_gmt":"2013-02-26T04:41:28","slug":"lets-ban-tagore-and-get-done-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/2013\/02\/26\/lets-ban-tagore-and-get-done-with-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Let's ban Tagore and get done with it"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"tagore\"<\/a>
\n\u00a0<\/span>
\nVivek Kaul<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong>
\n\u201c<\/span>Didi, Didi,\u201dthe man Friday came running into her room at the Reuters building. \u201cI got the censor board to ensure that\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>movie was not cleared<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>.\u201d
\n\u201cOh. Very good,\u201d replied Didi<\/span><\/span><\/span>. \u201c<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>It was all Maoist propaganda against me anyway. Making fun of me like that.\u201d
\n\u201cYes Didi<\/span><\/span><\/span>,\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>he replied looking at the bouquet of blue roses lying in front of her and wondering how the roses had turned blue.
\n\u201cI got them specially made,\u201d replied Didi sensing his doubt.
\n\u201cI have never seen blue roses before this,\u201d said the man Friday.
\n\u201cRed signifies Maoism, so I got special blue plastic roses made for myself,\u201d she explained.
\n\u201cWhat a good idea Didi!\u201d exclaimed the man Friday.
\n\u201cAnd I have asked the state agriculture department to start working on developing real blue roses,\u201d Didi continued. \u201cTill then I will have make do with these artificial ones though.\u201d
\n\u201cI hope they are able to crack the formula for blue roses soon!\u201d
\n<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Acha\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>call that police commissioner,\u201d said Didi. \u201cHe seems to have arrested some of our boys.\u201d
\n\u201cYes Didi,\u201d the man Friday said. As he was leaving he gave her a left hand salute.
\nDidi reciprocated with the same left hand salute.
\nThe police commissioner came ten minutes later and knocked on the door.
\n\u201cCome in,\u201d shouted Didi.
\nThe police commissioner came into the room and made himself comfortable in the chair in front of Didi.
\nMeanwhile, Didi continued to stand with the fingers of her left hand touching her forehead.
\n\u201cDo you have fever?\u201d asked the police commissioner slightly worried. \u201cShall I get a thermometer? I normally have one in my car.\u201d
\n\u201c<\/span><\/span><\/span>Ki moshai,<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201d replied Didi. \u201cYou seem to have forgotten.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat?\u201d asked the police commissioner, trying to figure out what this was all about.
\n\u201cThis is the\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>neela salaam.\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>The blue salute in English,\u201d Didi explained patiently.
\n\u201cOh!\u201d said the police commissioner, gradually getting up from his seat.
\n\u201cAnd this is how you do it,\u201d said Didi, lifting her left hand and bringing her fingers very close to her forehead.
\n\u201cIt is the exact opposite of the\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>lal salaam<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0Didi,\u201d the police commissioner said, trying to state the obvious.
\n\u201cHow dare you say that?\u201d shouted Didi. \u201cI will suspend you.\u201d
\n\u201cSorry Didi,\u201d pleaded the police commissioner. \u201cThis won’t happen again.\u201d
\n\u201cGood. Anyway, lets get down to working.\u201d
\n\u201cYes Didi.\u201d
\n\u201cI hear you have caught some of my boys in Jadhavpur.\u201d
\n\u201cYour boys?\u201d asked the police commissioner. \u201cBut Didi…\u201d
\n\u201cYour police force has caught some workers of my party in Jadhavpur,\u201d trying to get to the point.
\n\u201cOh. I did not know they belonged to your party,\u201d explained the police commissioner. \u201cI was just trying to maintain some law and order.\u201d
\n\u201cMy boys are not at fault. Some students, you know how these intellectual types are, opened up a Facebook page.\u201d
\n\u201cOh. They really shouldn’t have,\u201d interrupted the police commissioner.
\n\u201cFirst let me complete. There is nothing wrong with opening a Facebook page. After all we are an advanced state. What we think today, the rest of India will think fifty years from now.\u201d
\n\u201cYes Didi. Of course Didi,\u201d said the police commissioner. \u201cSo what is the problem?\u201d
\n\u201cOh. The background of their Facebook page was red. And so some of party workers went to them and suggested they change it to blue. And you know how these intellectual types are, they started shouting\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>cholbe na cholbe na.<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u201d
\n\u201cOh Didi. But that used to be your line. They stole it. They shouldn’t have. Do you want to file a copyright infringement complaint?\u201d asked the police commissioner. \u201cI still remember you walking down\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>Chowringee<\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0in your white cotton saree with a slight grey border on that rainy day in the mid 1980s.\u201d
\n\u201cYes. How can I forget that day. You really beat us black and blue.\u201d
\n\u201cOrders from above,\u201d said the police commissioner. \u201cBut I was always with your cause.\u201d
\n\u201cSo getting back to the point. These intellectual students started shouting\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>cholbe na cholbe na<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u00a0and refused to change the colour of their Facebook page to blue. So my workers were left with no other option but to beat them up, like you did on that rainy day in the 1980s.\u201d
\n\u201cOh!\u201d
\n\u201cAnd to tell you the truth I am so used to shouting\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>cholbe na cholbe na<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>, if I don\u2019t shout it five hundred times a day, I don\u2019t get sleep at night.\u201d
\n\u201cFoolish students. They just had to change the colour of a Facebook page. Why invite trouble?\u201d
\n\u201cAnd they didn’t relent at that,\u201d continued Didi.
\n\u201cAs in?\u201d asked the police commissioner.
\n\u201cThey started singing a song,\u201d replied Mamata.
\n\u201cIt must be one of those revolutionary songs written and sung by your party MP Kabeer Rumon.\u201d
\n\u201cNa, Na!\u201d
\n\u201cIt was a new song from a Hindi movie.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, which one?\u201d
\n\u201cSome new song which Amitabh Bachchan recently sung for this\u00a0Kahani\u00a0movie.\u201d
\n\u201cYou know, I don’t watch new movies anymore,\u201d said the police commissioner. \u201cThe last movie I saw was Manik Da’sHirek Rajar Deshe\u00a0in 1980, after that I lost interest.\u201d
\n\u201cManik Da?\u201d asked Didi. \u201cWho’s he?\u201d
\nThe police commissioner thought it was best not to answer that.
\n\u201cSo madam you were telling me about that Amitabh Bachchan song.\u201d
\n\u201cCan’t remember it,\u201d said Didi. \u201cLet me call Proteek, he might know.\u201d
\n\u201cYeah, please do.\u201d
\n\u201cAe Proteeeeeeeek,\u201d shouted Didi for her man Friday who came running in.
\n\u201cYes madam. I was just getting your Nano painted blue.\u201d
\n\u201cNever mind that,\u201d said Didi. \u201cWhat was that Amitabh Bachchan song which you had set as your ringtone and those students were also singing?\u201d
\n\u201cAh madam, that one. It went like\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>Jodi Tor Dak Shune Keu Na Ase Tobe\u00a0Ekla\u00a0Cholo\u00a0Re<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/em>\u00a0(If no one responds to your call, then go your own way alone),\u201d\u00a0replied the man Friday. \u201cMr Bachchan has sung it very well.\u201d
\n\u201cYes, but I don’t like it,\u201d Didi yelled. \u201cIt smells of revolution. It smells of Maoism. Plus it shows women in the midst of<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0sindoor khela<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u00a0during Durga Puja\u00a0and that reminds me of red. And red reminds me of Maoism.\u201d
\n\u201cOh!\u201d exclaimed the man Friday.
\n\u201cAlso, remind me to issue an ordinance to change the colour of\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>sindoor<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em>\u00a0to blue,\u201d said Didi.
\n\u201cBut Didi…\u201d the police commissioner tried to intervene. \u201cWomen love the red colour Didi. So many of their beautiful sarees will go waste Didi,\u201d the bureaucrat said, trying to rescue the situation.
\n\u201cNever mind! The women of this state have made sacrifices in the past and they will continue to make sacrifices. Look at Bipasha she makes so many sacrifices to stay fit and bring out that DVD of hers,\u201d Didi said vociferously.
\n\u201cYes, yes!\u201d the men in the room agreed.
\n\u201cAlso getting back to the point lets arrest Amitabh Bachchan,\u201d said Didi.
\n\u201cBut he has just sung the song Didi,\u201d the police commissioner tried to explain. \u201cAnd he lives in Mumbai, so we won’t be able to arrest him.\u201d
\n\u201cYes, doesn’t come under our jurisdiction,\u201d Didi conceded. \u201cSo let’s arrest the person who wrote it.\u201d
\n\u201cIt was written by Robi Thakur, Didi,\u201d said the police commissioner.
\n\u201cLets arrest him,\u201d said Didi.
\n\u201cRobi Thakur as in Rabindranath Tagore,\u201d said the police commissioner.
\n\u201cI don’t care. Put your entire police force behind this man and arrest him,\u201d said Didi. \u201cI want him by the evening. Or I will suspend you. And remember that if I could make Tatas leave the state…\u201d Didi, threatened and walked out of the room.
\nThe police commissioner sat there wondering what had hit him and felt blessed that the sky was already blue.
\nThe article<\/a> appeared on www.theunrealtimes.com on March 4, 2013<\/span><\/span><\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/span>(Vivek Kaul is a writer. He tweets at @kaul_vivek)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Vivek Kaul \u201cDidi, Didi,\u201dthe man Friday came running into her room at the Reuters building. \u201cI got the censor board to ensure that\u00a0movie was not cleared.\u201d \u201cOh. Very good,\u201d replied Didi. \u201cIt was all Maoist propaganda against me anyway. Making fun of me like that.\u201d \u201cYes Didi,\u201d\u00a0he replied looking at the bouquet of blue … <\/p>\n

Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"qubely_global_settings":"","qubely_interactions":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[976,2905],"qubely_featured_image_url":null,"qubely_author":{"display_name":"Vivek Kaul","author_link":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/author\/vivekkaul\/"},"qubely_comment":1,"qubely_category":"Uncategorized<\/a>","qubely_excerpt":"\u00a0 Vivek Kaul \u201cDidi, Didi,\u201dthe man Friday came running into her room at the Reuters building. \u201cI got the censor board to ensure that\u00a0movie was not cleared.\u201d \u201cOh. Very good,\u201d replied Didi. \u201cIt was all Maoist propaganda against me anyway. Making fun of me like that.\u201d \u201cYes Didi,\u201d\u00a0he replied looking at the bouquet of blue…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vivekkaul.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}