What follows is a conversation that every marketing guy working for big business would love to hear on women’s day.
“So how do we celebrate today?” she asked him, as soon as he got up.
“Celebrate?” he asked, wondering if he had forgotten her birthday, her mother’s birthday, their monthly anniversary, the day they had first met or something else, all over again.
“Don’t tell me you have forgotten it again this year,” she said. “No V, not again.”
“Let’s go out for dinner to your favourite restaurant,” he said, trying to rescue the situation. “I’ll call them and make a reservation for a cosy candle lit dinner.”
“That would be nice,” she said. “But the occasion demands more than that baby.”
This set him thinking. “It can’t be Valentine’s day today,” he wondered. “Because that was only last month.”
“And why is she calling me baby? Must be something really special today? Maybe the day we first met. Or the day we first kissed. Anyway, doesn’t really matter as long as I pamper her!”
“Jaan let’s go for a long drive after dinner. I’ll take you for a spin around the lake. You used to love that so much when we first started dating,” he said, hoping that this time he had hit the bull’s eye.
“Nah. I am tired of going there.”
“So lets then go visit your mother,” he said. “We haven’t met her in a while.”
“No yaar. Going to meet her in the evening is a disaster. First she will torture us is with the pravachan of Dhartiphod baba. And then she will make us watch the soap opera Bade Ache Lagte Hain on television.”
“Arre. I find that very boring. I can still stand Dhartiphod baba but watching that soap opera gives me a bout of nausea.”
“Then what do you want to do?”he asked. “I have run out of ideas.”
“Let’s go shopping,” she responded immediately.
“Shopping. But why?”he asked. “We had gone shopping only last week. You made me go around that mall atleast twenty times.”
“So we can’t go shopping again?”
“Of course, we can baby,” he said. “But you bought all the clothes you wanted to.”
“Yes I did. But its not clothes that I want to buy.”
“You also have at least 52 pairs of sandals, each for one week of the year!”
“Yes I have. But I don’t want to buy sandals.”
“You just bought the latest iPhone last month.”
“Yes, I don’t feel like buying any gadgets.”
“Your mother anyway gives you six sarees a year which you never wear,” he said. “And you keep converting those sarees into salwar suits.”
“Who wants to buy Sarees when Ma orders them directly from Kanjeevaram,” she replied.
“Oh then why do you want to go shopping?” he asked desperately.
“Because I want to buy something else.”
“Something else?” he asked. “Do you want to buy more wall hangings, paintings, chimes, sofa covers, bed covers, bed sheets? What?”
“Nah!” she exclaimed. “I am done with all that for now.”
“I want something that is not very showy.”
“And what is that?”
“Something that is transparent.”
“Get to the point baby.”
“Something that looks sophisticated on me.”
“And something that is going to cost you a lot of money.”
“I want a diamond.”
“A diamond? Why?”
“Because a diamond is a woman’s best friend!”
“That’s just a marketing pitch baby. I am your best friend.”
“Really? Are you? Then why don’t you make me happy and buy me a diamond.”
“Hmmm. What other option do I have?” he said smiling and cursing his fate.
“Yippie,” she jumped, and gave him a big tight hug.
“But now that I am spending such a huge amount of money, at least tell me what is the ocassion?” he asked.
“I knew,” she said. “You wouldn’t remember.”
“So what is it?”
“It’s women’s day!”
“Come on. For me, every day is women’s day,” he protested.
“Yes. I mean, why just celebrate it one day in 365 days,” he remarked.
“So does that mean you will give me a diamond every day of the year?” she said, having the last laugh.
(Vivek Kaul is a writer. He tweets @kaul_vivek)